Past Haymaker Casino Series Winners
Scathing Commentary by Guido
Casino Guido 6: JP: How could you clowns lose to a guy with two first names? Please. When will the real players show up?
CasiNomo (HC11): Benji: Clearly no one cared about playing poker if you let this clown win. Was Taco Guy's food that good?
Check out that power 2-6 off suit he won with, youz should be embarrassed.
HC10: Sulpicimus: Come on, really? This guy was so close to being a goat he was already eating tin cans.
CG5: 2LiveLuke: Youz should all be embarrassed losing to that hat. Were you all blinded or just throw up because of it?
HC9: Corco-tigre: C'mon, you let the Rain Man of poker actually win? And since the host came in second it's clear the field all had single digit IQs.
HC8: Porcu-fredo: Twice in a row, seriously? Was there a gas leak or are you just trying to support his hair gel budget? Please show up next time, players.
CG4: Sher-dizzy: Finally, one of youz dolls wins it. "Odizzy, we finally have gas money to git us back to the nine-oh-nine and pay for the fifth engine rebuild on the Geo!"
CG3: Shifty: Fix! That's all there is to say. He's only good for running numbers on the street corner and picking up my laundry.
HC7: Porcu-fredo: I get it, this was a sympathy laydown for a blind guy...wait, he was just wearing those shades all day indoors? Hopefully everyone who lost could see their pathetic reflections in his glasses, terrible.
CG2: Sakebomb: Clown shoes, that's all I can say. The sour cream must have been rancid if you jokers let him win.
HC6: Sely-man: It's true, even blind squirrels find nuts sometime. The other 39 players are on suicide watch after being shamed by this clown!
Deb1: E-dub I know there was only 16 people there, but E-freakin'-dub? What's next, pro football in LA?
CG1: Haymaker You realize this means we have to hear the "I told you I'm good when I'm not hosting" garbage at every tourney now, right?
HC5: Benji: Holy crap, you let this guy win twice or did the other players arrive on the short bus?
HC4: Deadwards: His name says it all, "Dead Money", did everyone watch the horse race when he won that table?
HC3: The Nomo: This guy is all tells! If he was more obvious he'd have a flashing sign stuck to his forehead. Pure JV.
HC2: Benji: I heard this clown was asking the host if a straight beats a three of a kind, are you kidding me? Put down the nachos, jokers, and play some real poker!
HC1: Sakebomb: You are kidding me, his name says it all, he's a bomb! He's pure dead money, I hear he thinks one of a card decks suits is horse-shoes, yeah Suck-eye, horse-shoes, right between spades and hearts.